Let's Talk: Weddings are for Everyone!

Stop me if you've heard this advice: "Give the bride whatever she wants during the wedding, it's her day!"

Photo by Rove Coast Photography

Now let me stop you, because weddings are for everyone, not just brides! Focusing so heavily on the singular stereotypical "bride" as the most important person when crafting the wedding damages everyone, brides included. Let's talk about it.

Photo by KMT Photos

Honestly, I won't fully blame you if you just assumed weddings = brides. It's difficult to avoid the association considering pop culture hits you over the head with the beautiful woman in the flowing white dress headlining all wedding magazines, rom-coms, romance novels, and reality shows. However, this is the perfect chance to unlearn that stereotype and create a better wedding space as a result.

Focusing so heavily on the bride ignores some pretty big elements about many weddings these days, specifically that there is no one model that couples fall into. With queer and same-sex couples, non-binary partners, trans individuals, and a glorious spectrum of beautiful people excited to say "I do," it does a disservice to narrow the scope to a single archetype. There's plenty of room for the classic bride, but there's so much more space for everyone else.

When it comes to wedding planning, the default assumption is that there is a bride and that the bride will be the one planning or signing off on everything. From food to flowers, songs to seating, venue to dress code, too often we collectively just think that the bride is the one to decide all that, and that's a lot of pressure to put on one person! For her sake, we can take that mental strain and spread it among friends, family, and, oh, of course, the wedding partner!

In reality, you'll find that a lot of grooms have plenty to add to the occasion. Not in an "oh, bless their heart" sort of way, but in a heartfelt aspect. Yes, a lot of little girls dream of that fantasy wedding, but fellas, I know there are a ton of you just as passionate about something so special, and you deserve to have your dreams heard and respected as much as your partner's.

Photo by Eric Doolin Photography

Furthermore, spotlighting one person can alienate a lot of people, not just their partner but also guests attending the big day. You really do want the wedding to best represent both people involved. Think how bonkers it'd be to walk into a wedding and say, "Ah, dinosaur theme, Danielle must be miserable since she famously hates dinosaurs." This is a chance to let the personalities of both parties shine brightest instead of letting one person overpower the other. It's much more fun to walk into a wedding and say, "Ah, dinosaur theme, this is awesome because Danni and Danny famously met at a dinosaur conference!" (Side note: I think I really want to plan a dinosaur wedding?)

So catch yourself the next time you default to weddings being so bride-focused. Let's keep making amazing weddings that are for everyone!

Happy Wedding Planning,

Andy <3